My Mexico Trip
How I made it to Mexico:
I am a believer of fate. Of a pre-written path that my soul chose to experience for its highest evolution and growth. This is why a core value of mine is to trust my inner compass, my voice of guidance in this world. It knows the way and the path that will get me to my deepest heart’s fulfillment.
We’re all born with this inner knowing. But life happens and we tend to forget and disconnect from our hearts and guts. Instead we are taught that we’re inherently sinners and cannot trust our primal instincts. And that the path is to listen to what is outside of us and to worship a false image of a God who is unjust and cruel. Enslaving us in a cycle of suffering and feelings of shame, fear, guilt and unworthiness.
My spiritual journey has been a rekindling of the purest and holiest of connections with the true God. not a humanly figure but an energetic force, and a collective consciousness that is whole and vast. Where nothing but love persists.
In my journey I have been seeking peace, freedom, confidence, and self-love. And the first thing God taught me is that I am the creator of my own reality. And everything I desire and yearn for is something I am capable of receiving- only if I am willing to put in the work and devote myself to where my heart is leading me. And it may sound easy and straightforward but the thing is, we live in a world filled with traumatized people, numb people, and disconnected people who got used to following orders from authorities that don’t actually have the best intentions. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and strength to go against what has been normalized in the name of survival and to fully go into the unknown where all dreams live.
I am in no way a master at facing my fears and dealing with rejection, but I have also made a conscious decision to make space to explore and listen to what resides within me. I made it a priority to live in alignment with my highest truth. And to devote myself over and over again to tend to my desires to fruition. Because I know that God - i.e me before incarnation, planted those seeds in me for a reason. And that also means that God has also planted support in the form of friends, guardian angels, and miracles to ensure the unfoldment of my highest path.
My trip to Mexico was a testament of that. Of how I am constantly guided and supported. Here is the story…
I have been utilising photography as my creative expression for a few years. Capturing real life moments and having access to my memories in such a tangible way has always felt special. Having a photographer’s mind means having a mind that is constantly looking for beauty, for symmetry and patterns. And this has been a strong ally in my journey of falling in love with life and learning to see God in everything. Photography helped me romanticise my life and strengthened my ability to be present in my body and senses.
Naturally as I began to reimagine the legacy I wish to leave behind and the mission I came on Earth to fulfil, I knew photography is part of it. I wanted others to experience themselves as divinity embodied. And to have something that will always remind them of this truth. But ego got in my way. My doubts and feelings of not enoughness would seep into my head, getting me to question my value which had me over working and not asking for proper compensation. It led to others undervaluing me because I was undervaluing myself. So this summer one of my biggest lessons was to stop waiting for others to give me the validation I needed from MYSELF. And that in order for others to see me, I must see myself.
In the process of learning this lesson, I lost friends, ended a relationship, and began to dislike my day job. Adding my burn out to the mix, I started to disconnect from my art and photography. At this point I was reconsidering what I wanted to do in life and what my vision for the future is. I was hurt, confused, and scared to share my vulnerable art. When my boss sent me a contract renewal, I could feel it in my body that I did NOT want to do this anymore. I was not growing in the way I wanted nor was my art valued at its true measure. I knew that God was asking me to be brave, even if I did not have a plan. I was being invited to align with my highest timeline and to walk in integrity with my heart and soul. And so I left. And what a relief it was. A week later I received an offer to be a photographer at The Wild Muse Retreat in Mexico. I said yes, and the following morning I got rejected from what i thought was a dream opportunity. At that moment it was so clear to me how God is always communicating with us. All we have to do is connect to an intention and keep our senses out for an answer, sometimes that even looks like setting a time to tune in and listen in meditation. The more action I took in alignment with my truth, the more God rewarded me with my dreams. And the more faith I built, which helps me stay devoted to taking courageous actions.
Others might feel crippled by the rejection. But I felt so much gratitude for God’s direct guidance. Rejection is redirection. And God was clearly saying “don’t waste your time and energy here, let me take you where you truly belong”. And I did belong in that retreat with that group of women. I felt so seen, loved and embraced. My inner artist flourished in the affirmations and love being poured towards one another. And I healed the part of me that felt unworthy, that felt doubtful, that felt fearful to show vulnerability. My experience was a gift from God for honouring my truth and for going after my heart’s desires.